Wasn’t it just a blink of an eye ago you were looking at her in her nappies or were guiding her through trying to deal with the anxiety of her teens? And half a breath ago where you thought you’d never get that young lady to sit still, or even see the end of the nights out and the parties?
Maybe you’re having dessert and tea right now, or sitting in a quiet corner somewhere in your home with a nice mix of healthy emotions and yet also wondering where time went.
But now it’s time to focus. You have to come up with the perfect Mother Of The Bride speech for your little girl that is unique, personal and really memorable.
Let’s get right to it shall we?
1. Choosing the Right Style
Before you start with the flavor or tone that you would like to go with, start off your mother of the bride speech with this:
- Flesh out, say 2 clear strong and positive memories from her youth and your own.
- 3 but not more than 5 memories that are between you and the bride that you both remember very well (Something where she will nod her while you speak).
- These should illustrate your relationship and the bond that you share.
- Try to keep the examples as something that is between the two of you only.
So now you have the core of what will end up as the backbone of your wedding speech. What else do you need to consider?
- Who are your guests? This can potentially lead you to edit or change some of the memories you want to talk about or how you will deliver the speech.
- The Groom’s family. Try to get as much background information. They will be family, and have to be considered as family as early as now.
- Cultural and Religious backgrounds. These are the family circles. Make sure you check back and note this down.
2. Creating Your Mother Of The Bride Speech
This will be an emotional exercise for most women, and is where your previous notes will be of big help in keeping your perspective as you create your speech. Let’s put things together.
- Start With…A good start will be to use 1 of the 2 memories from the bride’s youth:
- The happy memory of finding out that she is becoming the woman of the world that she is now both powerful and sweet.
- It is a great starting point and will allow flexibility in how you want the speech to unfold
- The 3 to 5 memories that will help you clearly talk about your own journey into being a woman and a wife and your relationship with the bride that leads to this joyful occasion.
- This also makes it easier to create your speech as you are talking about memories to frame ideas.
- Effectively speaking in public for those who do not usually do so is helped by a very familiar subject matter.
- Be inclusive. After talking about the last shared memory, include some memories that led to this day.
- Maybe how she broke the news can be used as a good transition point
- Talking about a clear memory with the groom can also be used
3. Pitfalls You Should Avoid
As you create your speech, care to keep the both the word choices and the flow positive should be done with diligence. Some of the critical areas you should look out for are:
- That note on the guest list and size:
a) The memory you recount in your speech should not be embarrassing for any of the guests.
b) Be sure it is not culturally or religiously offensive to your combined guests. More so if it’s a mixed party (a large reception with family, friends and colleagues).
- The note on the Groom and his family
a) Will come in handy specifically if your family has not spent significant time with the Groom’s family before the wedding.
b) Check if any part of the speech may cause undue embarrassment or be disrespectful.
- Overall
a) Women who have been through the marriage route are notoriously famous for being protective of those who are just about to step into this new phase. Your speech will fail if you start that all too familiar comparison contest of how marriages should be and what to do so they last.
b) Remain on the positive view of things regardless of personal experience.
c) Recounting memories of a bad prior relationship is an absolute no. Even if you strongly approve of the groom. Especially if you approve strongly of the groom.
4. Ending Your Mother Of The Bride Speech
Now that you have outlined your relationship with the bride and your approval of the man she is marrying, we need to figure out how to end it gracefully.
- Thank all your guests:
- This is both easy and expected, but often forgotten in most speeches. This is not just the father’s or the couple’s domain.
- As the couple and the other people from the wedding party thanks the guests for their support, thank the guests for their show of love by being present in such a special day.
- Use the 2nd of your “youth memory”. But wait up, it isn’t really about that.
- How did you see the world as a young wife?
- If the memory is a positive one – highlight it as a wish for the couple
- If the memory is a negative one – don’t say it exactly as that (example: “I always hoped you will sit there on this day, the way you do now, and that I will smile the way I am, because I am very happy for you)
- Use your words as a blanket.
- Include the groom
- Validate your blessing and approval
- Suggesting you close with a phrase that includes “Love you”
So yes it will be an emotional moment in a very emotional day as this young woman whom you’ve watched grow starts a new chapter in her life as an adult.
But keeping things organized way before that will allow you more than ample time to create a speech that will keep you from getting lost in the moment and be able to say exactly what you intend to.
And, if you’ve already scoured the internet for Mother of the Bride speech examples prior to reading this or maybe you’ve attended a number of weddings where you’ve listened to various mother of the bride speeches before, stick to the 4 simple points above to differentiate your speech to make it personal, powerful and memorable- as this can be one of the greatest gifts you can deliver to your daughter.
Oh and P.S. Do not forget to bring out your hanky on the big day, as I’m quite sure that there will be tears during this speech.
For The Ultimate Mother Of The Bride Speech…
If you want to take your speech to that ‘next level’ and really impress your daughter and new son-in-law to-be, I recommend that you check out the follow resource:
(Note: When you click the link, you’ll need to select “Mother Of The Bride” for the appropriate resource.)