It’s one of life’s greatest honors to be asked to be the best man at a wedding. It’s a validation of friendship, of ties, of loyalties and of matters that we think of as solid and permanent.
At the very least, you laid the smack down on all buddies from the playground to now. You are the best man. Props to you buddy old pal.
And now it’s time you to craft the perfect speech, so you’re searching the internet for some best man speech ideas.
Remember that in terms of the big day, there are three main responsibilities or roles that you will play on the wedding day.
- You represent the groom and should be his best foot forward.
- You do not under the pain of a very horrible demise lose the wedding rings.
- You deliver a great toast and speech for the newly wedded couple.
But, out of all your best man duties, it’s the third one unfortunately is what most will remember you by.
Fear not though, since the fates have led you here!
Choosing Your Speech
A lot of us don’t have too many chances in life for public speaking. If we do, it’s often times not with the same pressure as a wedding reception. Yes, unfortunately your best man speech can help make or break the rest of the party. No pressure!
Here are a couple of best man speech tips that are very safe to adhere to at wedding feasts:
–> A controlled, more formal speech, that avoids too many life based stories, and instead focus on positive qualities and values of the groom then adding why the couple is going to have a great married life.
–> Another one is a time capsule of stories if you will, and one that leads up to this happy day. This is more informal in nature, and allows more latitude to insert jokes or humorous events that you’ve lived through
–> A hybrid of both; this is usually what best men end up with, when they aren’t able to prepare properly. It’s easier but with a bigger danger of embarrassing the couple.
Pitfalls to Avoid
Before you finally start putting your thoughts into paper, you need to strongly check these matters out and make sure they are handled to the best of your abilities:
- Not having face time with the Bride. This is extremely important, and more so if you have not met her. Ring her or ask to talk to her and build the start of a friendship. Knowing the bride will help a lot in guiding you towards making your speech an effective one.
- Review the guest list. The number of guests, who the guests are, will help you decide how you want to craft your speech. You don’t want to recall an embarrassing work story if one of the couple’s bosses are in attendance for example.
- Avoid references to old flames and relationships even if you strongly feel that it proves a point. It’s the couple’s special day. Don’t rain on it.
- As a general rule, avoid off color, coarse jokes. You are a best man and not a stand up. The urge will be great to do at least one hee-haw joke for the hell of it. Better to avoid.
- Similarly, it’s also a good idea to avoid stories of embarrassing childhood nicknames and how they came about. Do that in the dinner table with the couple and their closest friends, after they toast you for being such a great best man. The rest of the crowd may not identify with the humor and you may experience pin drop silence!
Crafting the Best Ever Best Man Speech
Now that we’ve discussed your choices and what to avoid, let’s get on with helping you craft your best ever best man speech.
The best sort of speeches are the ones where the listeners can relate to, and that only happens when the person speaking talks truth – people are generally more at ease when talking about real things, and audiences feel and react to that.
Start with remaining true to yourself and your friendship with the groom before you choose the style or flavor that you want to use.
- Is your bond one from childhood?
- Are you blood related?
- How did the friendship start?
These questions will help you frame how to build your speech or guide you how to start it.
Choose a strong memory that puts both of you in a good light. Remember it isn’t only you and your close buddies at this gathering. I’ll say it one more time you are representing the groom, as well as all his buddies. Don’t make us lose poker night for the foreseeable future.
Use a very positive tone throughout. Like a “from good to better” type of language. I stress this here since a lot of times there is a strong but unconscious urge to use a negative to highlight the positive that comes next.
If you’re talking about a good memory and needed to use “but, however, etc” to frame it, chances are you aren’t using a positive tone.
Lastly, close the speech with a bang with these elements
- A trait that complements the bride and the groom, and one that will serve them in good stead as they move to married life
- Include the rest of the gathering, “I, along with all of us gathered here agree” in verbally announcing support for the couple
- Lead everyone in a toast wishing the couple all the best
Putting all of these together should be more than enough for your buddy to not regret naming you King of the Hill among all his friends, ensure that you have a guest spot open at the couple’s dinner table, and have the bride’s family gushing at how great the groom’s side is.
For even more best man speech ideas and a more detailed template in how to formulate your speech, you can check out our 6 Step Approach best man speech guide to putting it together quickly.
Not being the source of an “oops” moment in a usually recorded gathering should also get you chuckle spots once you go back to your table and proceed to enjoy the rest of party.
So here’s to you and to your best ever best man’s speech. Use these best man speech ideas and get cracking to get the thing done!
Best of luck.
P.S- To Be The ‘Best’ Best Man…
If you want to take your speech to that next level and kick that winning goal, I recommend that you check out the follow resource:
(Note: When you click the link, you’ll need to select “Best Man” for the appropriate resource.)